Sunday, May 19, 2013

May 19 - TURTLE CLUB: Official membership card*

Friday, May 19, 1972 - Page 140
LOCATION: Newport Beach, California

[continued from previous page] ful!)
(1:05:25 AM 5/20/1972)
It rained today. Chunk beat me in two games of chess. I helped mom wash the clothes. Jordan bought a model of the U.S.S. Enterprise. Mom and I went to pick up Chunk at his place of employment. We put the downriver boat and the Mucky Mongoose on the Imperial. We're being driven to Hansen Damn tomorrow by mom (yes, I know I misspelled it).

I've gotta get up at 7:00 A.M. It is raining now, and it will probably be raining 2morrow. The cat has still been fooling around. Mom and I went shopping to buy food for our trip tomorrow. --- None of that in that order. Tha's allllllllllllllllllllllllllllll  1:10:30 A.M.

[What follows here is text from my official TURTLE membership card (wiki info). Most of the original astronauts were TURTLES: daring people who are not afraid to stick their necks out. If a Turtle ever asks a fellow Turtle if they are a Turtle, they are compelled to clearly utter the phrase: "You bet your sweet ass I am." This is because every Turtle apparently owns a kindly good natured jackass for alternative transportation. Saying such a thing in polite society would, of course, be a scandalous faux pas, and if a Turtle was ever in a situation in which he was unable to provide the proper response, then he must buy the Turtle who asked the question -- and any other Turtles within earshot -- a round of drinks of his/her (their) own choosing. At a press conference a reporter asked President Kennedy if he was a Turtle, to which he replied, "I'll buy you a drink later."]

TURTLE CREED
Turtles are bright eyed, bushy tailed, fearless and unafraid folk with a fighter pilot attitude. They think clean, have fun a lot, and recognize the fact that you never get anyplace worthwhile in life unless you stick your neck out.

The "Turtles" are indeed an illustrious group and include in their membership ranks some of the country's foremost leaders in the fields of government, finance, entertainment, aerospace and all other areas where aggressiveness, a feeling of fair play, clean thoughts and a sense of humor are keys to success. Started by a group of test pilots during the 2nd War, the club has progressed to its present position as one whose membership is diligently sought after and highly esteemed by those lucky enough to be initiated. Adherence to the creed and always giving the password when asked are the only responsibilities placed on our membership. You will find that life is more fun and takes on new meaning when you are a "Turtle." Welcome to the group.

INTERSTELLAR ASSOCIATION OF TURTLES
(OUTERSHELL DIVISION)

Date: 10/6/71

This is to certify
Grady Luther Lyda III
is a member in good standing and will remain so as long as he continues to give the password when asked by a fellow Turtle.

Member
Thom Granger

High Potentate
Walter M. Schinok

Low Potentate
Gerry Morton

[FROM THE]
OFFICIAL MEMBERSHIP CARD

As a member in good standing you can subscribe new Turtles as follows:

I - We assume all prospective Turtles own a Jack Ass. This assumption is the reason for the password. This password must be given if you are ever asked by a fellow member, "Are you a Turtle?" You MUST then reply, "You bet your sweet ass I am." If you do not give the password in full because of embaressment or some other reason, you forfeit a beverage of his choice. So always remember the password.

II - To become an official Turtle you must first solve the following riddles (see page 142). [The four riddles can be found at the top of the entry for Sunday, May 21, 1972 - Page 142]

III - You are now a member of the Turtle Club. Govern yourself accordingly and procure new members.

Here are answers to the 10 Turtle Riddles seen on the entry for January 14, 2014.
1) A Wedding Ring
2) An Elevator
3) The Titanic
4) A Dentist
5) An Attorney
6) Bubble Gum
7) A Newspaper Boy
8) An Arrow
9) A Crane
10) A Nose

For an enlightening message emailed directly to ME from our current Supreme Imperial Turtle (as of July 22, 2014), you can go HERE [but only if you promise NEVER to reveal his exalted name to non-turtles]: The cosmically magnificent Imperial Turtle graciously responds to my humble question

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